The restaurant near my place, the one who's septic system occasionally makes it smell like god farted on my apartment complex, has a new item on their menu. It's called "Fruit salad." No, it's not the fruit salad we're used to. It's more of a ... let's say a person new to English and American cuisine was asked for a fruit salad and they put the words "fruit" and "salad" together in their mind and voila, "fruit salad." Though, I don't know where the toast and ice cream comes from.
Yes, toast and ice cream.
Let me see if I can remember how it's written up on the menu,
A bed of crisp lettuce topped with fresh cut fruit and two scoops of ice cream or sherbet. Served with toast and your choice of dressing.
If that isn't bad enough, the menu includes a picture of it.
How is that supposed to work? Does the dressing go on the ice cream and fruit? What's the toast for? After much thought the only thing that I could possibly come up with to tie this monstrosity together was warmed up peanut butter over the whole mess. Now, hold on a sec, hear me out. Peanut butter is good in ice cream so I figure it must be good on ice cream. Peanut butter is good on toast. Peanut butter is good with jelly and jelly is made from fruit and peanut butter is ... supposedly good on celery and ... celery is kind of like lettuce? Sort of?
On second thought ...
What I'm wondering is, is this actually a recipe? I mean, is this something that is served anywhere else? Is this something the restaurant chef came up with when he was high or is it some wacky, I dunno, Midwestern dish? Could it be popular is some other country? Has anyone seen this offered before? Does anyone know of any other place that sells a plate of lettuce covered in fruit, covered in ice cream, covered in salad dressing with a side of toast?
If anyone actually reads this and cares, I can get a picture next time I'm in there. Not of the actual item, I'd never order it, but of the menu picture and description.
Speaking of things that don't work, me. I don't get this up and down mood thing. I was all jazzed up about working. Got a commission done and another half done then went bllllllaaaaaarrrrgg, flopped on the floor of my apartment like a beached whale.
No, I didn't actually flop on the floor like a beached whale but I might as well have.
I think why it happened is that I had time to see what I'd made and was depressed by how not so good it was. Yes, I know, "Shut up, Ed. It's good." I can't help that I'm my own biggest critic. I wish I could. I look at stuff I made and, even if I liked it when I first finished it, all I see is flaws. It's like my work gets worse as it ages. It's like soda going flat.
I realize that if I were working more and not taking the time to obsess about how shitty my art is, if I didn't give myself time between finishing drawing to really start hating the previous piece, I'd probably be pretty productive. I just worry that, working like that, I'd be 'that guy' the guy who's art never changes, the guy who's stuff always looks the same and even slowly gets worse, that guy who cranks stuff out and clearly doesn't give a damn. I don't want to be that guy. Unfortunately, that means I'm that other guy who has lots of ideas and says he's going to do things then doesn't do shit.
Anyway, I'll try and start again. I'll try and get something done today. Hopefully, it will be the hula commission, though, I do kinda want to do a Chiggers picture for hopelarson
Bottom line, if I don't have something finished and posted today I'll go eat a "Fruit salad."